Wild thing

Yesterday the cat brought to my back door a female cardinal. In his mouth. I did only what I knew to do, which was to yell through the glass, "You're not impressing me with that!" Because what the cat didn't know was that I am a bird lover. It's one of the things that's happens to you when you spend inordinate amounts of time at your kitchen sink staring out into the yard washing out your coffee mug again because it beats getting back to the many unread rejection letters awaiting you in your inbox.

Husband continues to beam at the abundance of home-cooked meals, all prepared by the time his stomach begins to growl at 4 p.m. most afternoons. But of course, he finds occassion to become angry about other things, like why I don't promptly fold and put away the laundry, or why my newspapers and magazines manage to land on every end table and night stand in the house. Overall, though, he's trying to be very supportive. He encourages me to go to conferences. He wants me to join book clubs. He doesn't balk when I want to attend a yoga class at the gym after 5. This is mostly due to his guilt over the whole situation, because we all know that if it weren't for him, I'd still be working for The Man, and very happy at that. I'm not sure how long I can play the victim here, but it's a cow well worth milking. Plus, I've convinced myself that I deserve it.

I am not in the black hole I was in a few weeks ago, when the husband actually hid the sleeping pills from me. That was a caring thing to do, but useless. It's not like I'd end it all that way. I don't know that there is a lethal dose of sleeping pills. Maybe just an extended check-out dose. But anyway, that's beside the point. I'm sleeping just fine these days. And in decent shape. And I'm busy. Like, why am I taking on all these assignments busy. And, I'm so glad not to have to be anywhere tonight busy. And when you're busy, I'm finding, you have little time for self-pity. Now if I can just figure out how to get the cat to stop hunting down birds.