Shellfish poisoning

Oh to be upbeat all the time in front of others. So tiring sometimes. I'm trying to maintain a world-is-my-oyster attitude about leaving work, but it still has the awful taste of planning one's own funeral.

I brainstorm lists of things to do: I'll freelance, join the women's soccer league, teach a few aerobics classes at the YMCA. I'll practice piano more in between lessons. I'll sit by the pool while the kids swim, devouring book after book after book.

But what if it ends up being none of this at all? What if I end up letting the kids vegg in front of the TV until 11 am while I do nothing but sit in my closet crying beside my dust-collecting high heels?

When people tell you kids change your life, this is exactly the sort of predicament they're talking about.